I love St. Peter. In today's Gospel reading I can hear his petulant, boastful, yet anxious voice, trying to contrast himself with the rich man who has just walked away from Jesus. "We've given up everything and followed you, not like that one!" Jesus responds by saying that God will repay Peter sacrifice a hundredfold - but with persecutions.
This conversation with St. Peter is paired with James' and John's request to sit at Jesus' right and left hand, to which Jesus similarly responds with with a hint of persecution: Can you drink the cup that I drink? And between these two encounters - first with Peter then with James and John - comes Jesus' prophesy of His own fate: He will be condemned, mocked, spit upon, cursed.
The ignorance of the Apostles is on full display here. Peter doesn't know what he's talking about. He thinks he's given up everything for God, but he hasn't - not yet. God is going to ask more. James and John don't know what they're talking about. They're thinking of some militaristic or royal triumph. But before they can be kings they must become slaves.
Give someone an inch, and they'll take a mile. For no one is this more true than of God. Give Him your obedience to the Law; He'll demand your possessions. Give Him your possessions; He'll demand your life. Give Him your life; He will demand servitude.
But these demands: they are not the selfish exactings of a greedy God. Rather they are the poor pittance we offer to a most generous God, a God who gives beyond our wildest imaginings. It is rather incredible that God would accept such humble offerings as our measly, paltry lives in exchange for the bounty He offers us: eternal life, eternal love. But Jesus' sacrifice of Himself on the Cross makes our sacrifices acceptable to God. Jesus' sacrifice does not negate the value of our sacrifices or render them unnecessary. Rather, Jesus' sacrifice is what makes our sacrifices worth anything at all.
Jesus says of the kingdom of God: Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them (Mark 4:25). He is speaking of generosity, of love: the more love you measure out, the more will be measured to you. This is the life of the Trinity, and Jesus' Incarnation is an invitation to us to enter into that life.
As we walk the path towards divine love, we will be tempted like the Apostles. When the going gets tough, we will petulantly point out that we're better than others and insist that God reward us for what we've already sacrificed. This is the temptation of pride: it's the temptation that will lead us to strut around with our ashes on our forehead as if those ashes are something to be proud of. We must remember that those ashes are a sign of our humiliation: they tell the world, publicly, that we are sinners. We have failed at love, and so have been agents of death in the world. Those ashes are a sign not of what we have already sacrificed, but rather that we have not sacrificed enough. God is calling us to sacrifice even more - to sacrifice even our lives unto death.
But: death is not the end. Not the death that we have brought into the world through our failure to love; not the death that we shall all have to endure. But after three days He will rise. Love triumphs over death. Abundant life, generously bestowed, erupts from the desert of fasting and self-sacrifice. The fast is not an end in itself; it is, rather, a necessary means to God's triumphant end.
The fasting we perform during Lent is a small drama of redemption and salvation, and we are called to experience it during Lent. How will our little "deaths" in our times of fasting open us up to a birth of new life? Fasting from things we enjoy can open us up to gratitude and to solidarity with others who suffer. Fasting from distractions and demands on our time can open us up to new experiences and surprises that we would not have imagined for ourselves. Giving up what we imagine to be desirable rewards opens us up to experiencing the rewards God wishes for us - a God who is ever surprising, ever new, ever generous, ever loving.
This Lent God welcomes us into His heart. Let us joyfully enter.
No comments:
Post a Comment