The Perfectly Imperfect Approach to God

Monday of the Third Week of Easter

Gospel: John 6:22-29

Today's Gospel fills me with both sadness and hope. My initial reaction was one of sadness: I can almost hear how forlorn Jesus must have sounded when He says: Amen, I say to you, you are looking for me not because you saw signs, but because ate the loaves and were filled. Imagine if we treated any other person in this way, seeking their company not because we loved them or cared for them or simply treasured their presence, but because of what they could do for us - give us a free meal, do us a favor, give us a gift. Yet that, so often, is how we treat God: seeking Him out only when we need something from Him.

The flip side, though, is that Jesus welcomes even these seekers, who come searching for the food that perishes. He does not turn them away, but rather invites them to more, beckons them closer, into deeper intimacy. Their motivations weren't entirely pure, but despite His gentle rebuke He doesn't reject them but asks them to deepen their relationship with Him: believe in the One He sent. 

There is hope in this. I remember once I went to Confession and lamented the fact that even my good works - my volunteer efforts, my work as a mother and wife - so often were tainted by selfishness - a desire to look "good" or to feel "important." The priest gently reminded me, though, that while we're on earth, our motivations are never going to be entirely pure - and that we need to keep trying anyway. Yes, all our motivations for turning to God will be mixed with selfishness and pride, or at any rate will fall short of complete holiness - but that's not a reason not to keep on turning to God. Because it is only by this constant turning to God that we will, ultimately, be purified. 

The Confirmation Director at my parish interviews each Confirmation candidate at the end of the two-year program, and one of the questions she asks is: "Why do you want to be confirmed?" Many times the students will answer: To make my mom happy. To make my grandmother happy. And the Director will tell them: That's okay. You may not be doing it for exactly the "right" reasons - a desire to grow closer to God, or a desire to grow in holiness or virtue - but you're doing it out of love for family, even out of obedience (which is, in Christian eyes, still a virtue!). And who knows what graces will come?

So long as we keep asking, What can we do to accomplish the will of God? God welcomes us. Yes, we will make mistakes. We will seek God, at times, in a less-than-perfect way, for less-than-perfect reasons. That's okay. As long as we keep seeking. As long as we keep asking. As long as we keep trying. As long as we don't remain satisfied with food that perishes and keep striving for the food that endures for eternal life - God will welcome us, however imperfect our approach to Him may be.