Unanswered Prayers

St. Anthony Mary Claret

From St. Augustine's Letter to Proba:

     When, to prevent [Paul] from becoming swollen-headed over the greatness of the revelations that had been given to him, he was given in addition a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet him, he asked the Lord three times to take it away from him. Surely that was not knowing to pray as he ought? For in the end he heard the Lord’s reply, telling him why even such a great saint’s prayer had to be refused: My grace is enough for you: my power is at its best in weakness.      So when we are suffering afflictions that might be doing us either good or harm, we do not to know how to pray as we ought. But because they are hard to endure and painful. . . [we] pray to have our afflictions taken from us. At least, though, we owe this much respect to the Lord our God, that if he does not take our afflictions away we should not consider ourselves ignored and neglected, but should hope to gain some greater good through the patient acceptance of suffering. For my power is at its best in weakness.      Scripture says this so that we should not be proud of ourselves if our prayer is heard, when we ask for something it would be better for us not to get; and so that we should not become utterly dejected if we are not given what we ask for, despairing of God’s mercy towards us: it might be that what we have been asking for could have brought us some still greater affliction, or it could have brought us the kind of good fortune that brings corruption and ruin. In such cases, it is clear that we cannot know how to pray as we ought.
      Hence if anything happens contrary to our prayer, we ought to bear the disappointment patiently, give thanks to God, and be sure that it was better for God’s will to be done than our own.

Prayer is not a test of God.  Our attitude should not be: If my prayer is answered, then I will believe in Him, but rather I believe in God, therefore I know that He hears me when I pray.  The starting assumption must be faith.  Not blind faith, but faith based on what we know God has already done for us.  Because of that faith, we owe it to God to believe, without fail, that He hears us, that He is looking out for our best interests.  For God does everything for us.  Christ said and did nothing that was not for our benefit.  Even when God acts for the sake of His own glory, it is so that we can see and know the source of all our blessings and joy.    

When we begin from the assumption that God exists and hears our prayers, the question then becomes what are we to think if our prayers are not answered?  We know God hears us, so why does He not answer?  It must be because what we are asking for is not good for us.  Paul provides an example of an unanswered prayer, as does Christ Himself.  Augustine reminds us that God always answers our prayers - just not always in the way that we want.  When we make our faith conditional on answered prayers, we are really setting up ourselves as God - making idols of ourselves.  

I am a very impatient person.  I can begin the day in quiet solitude and prayer, but as soon as I encounter other people I find myself easily irritable, upset at being distracted from my own thoughts.  I have prayed for this impatience to be taken from me.  But I wonder sometimes if I am praying for my own sake - so that I can be proud of being a kind, patient, gentle person.  If so, then it is better that my prayer not be answered.  

I hope to learn to pray on behalf of others.  Can I pray that my impatience be taken from me so that those around me are not hurt?  I rejoice that my vices keep me humble, keep  me turning to God every day to help me through.  God, give me patience.  God, give me strength.  God, give me kindness.  My vices remind me that I cannot overcome the imperfections in my soul through my own efforts.  But I do not want to hurt those I love.

What good can come "through the patient acceptance of suffering"?  Perhaps God is trying to teach me to be patient with myself.  The smallest vice sends me spiraling into despair: I will never be good enough.  I am not worthy to be loved.  I am not worthy.  How can I learn to cast my imperfections onto Christ, let them be hidden in His wounds and cleansed by His blood?  It is not that my imperfections "don't matter."  They matter very much indeed.  It is not that I should feel free to ignore my own vices.  But the solution is not to keep chiseling away at my imperfections by my own efforts.  The solution is to actively, by conscientious offering, give my imperfections to Jesus.  To be willing to submit to His purifying fire, over and over again.

In a moment of impatience, perhaps instead of looking at myself, beating myself up for that vice, perhaps it might be better to look to Christ, to say: My God, I offer You this moment in humble gratitude.  Forgive me in Your mercy.  Do what You will.